A Not So Blast From The Past
by Silver Azure
Summary: Blu tells the tale of how a guy Linda dated in high school came back into their lives, a guy Blu hated. It's pretty much a prequel to the movie. RATED K.
1. A Pain from the Past Returns

Hey Guys, it's uh Blu here, how ya doing? I'm good myself. Hope you're all ready for this tale I'm going to tell you...to be honest I don't why I'm telling it but I guess because it's late, and well it's also kind of funny but also a bit harsh. So anyways...if you're still in the mood to listen then kudos but if you're not then just leave I guess.

So anyways it all started two years ago, it was a perfect April day in Moose Lake, Minnesota at the Blue Macaw Book Store, the morning had began like all the others with me waking Linda, us brushing our teeth, having some breakfast and her giving me those disgusting vitamins, blech!

"Tyler Blu Gunderson! This isn't funny! These vitamins are good for you!" she screamed as she tried to shove those foul tasting vitamins down my throat...heh, foul...get it? Ya know like _fowl_? Bird humor.

"Wait a minute...look at this!" she exclaimed as she picked up a cereal box, was she gonna give it to me? I was excited as my mouth opened wide with excitement.

She took advantage and shoved that spoon in my mouth! I don't know why I keep falling for that, anyways after we got ready we headed downstairs to the bookstore for another day of business. I went into my cage and just started relaxing, checking out a nearby Auto Trader magazine that was just laying around, Linda was on the computer checking her emails, she always checks on her online profile because she's into the whole social network thing...heh social network, I sure hope you caught that one.

"Oh wow...Cole!" she exclaimed

When I heard that, my world was turned upside down because there was only one Cole I ever knew in her life, this guy she dated in High School...Cole Murphy, he was the biggest jerk on the planet. Oh sure, he seemed like the kinda guy you'd write home about but no! When he and Linda dated I swear every time he'd visit he give me nasty looks and behind her back he used to tease me with that whole _Polly want a cracker?_ Bit...it's like okay, two things pal; first I'm a Macaw, not a parrot and secondly...Polly? Really? I never liked Cole, from his looks to his overbearing aftershave to the fact he used to always wear a Minnesota Twins hat, nothing against them but it's the way he'd wear it...ya know to the side like he was some sort of rapper. Anyways, I got out of my cage and perched myself on Linda's shoulder and I looked at Cole's picture and yep that was sure him! I'd notice him anywhere from those green eyes to that soul patch bust most distinctively...the fact that he was wearing a Minnesota Twins hat turned sideways. Yeah, he lives in Minneapolis and if I'm not mistaken he moved there after he broke up with Linda and I'll be honest it was the happiest day of my life. I saw Linda typing on the computer and then I heard her cellphone ring;

"Hello? Hey Cole, so you got my number? Glad you called...yeah, sure I'd like to grab a cup of coffee sometime. Hey why don't you visit the bookstore? It's called the Blue Macaw"

Is she nuts? She's inviting Cole here? Who knows what sort of trickery he has up his sleeve? Oh man I could just here him saying _Polly want a cracker? Stupid bird! If you perch on my shoulder again I'll turn you into barbecued chicken! _I hope he cancels! So after she hung up her cellphone she came over with a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a cup of hot cocoa, of course with six mini marshmallows just how I like it but my nerves were shot!

"So guess what Blu? Do you remember Cole Murphy? You know the guy who I dated in eleventh grade...the one who moved to Minneapolis that same year? Well he's coming by at three o' clock and we're gonna grab a cup of coffee...and you're coming along too!" boy she seemed real happy when she said that, I looked at the clock and it read nine-thirty six so that meant five and a half hours until you-know-who shows up. I know, maybe this day will go by slow! I mean we've been open for thirty six minutes and not a customer walked in so maybe it'll be one of those days! Boy do I hope so. I took a sip of my cocoa and for some odd reason it tasted funny, I know it wasn't the milk nor the cocoa or even the marshmallows because I remember that we bought those at the grocery store last week, oh man I think it's the fact that Cole was coming that really shot my nerves! Anyways I was just sitting there trying to calm myself down but to no avail. All of a sudden I heard some loud music and a black 2007 Dodge Charger pulled up to the curb, I peered at the person getting out and I could see he was wearing black jeans and a purple hooded sweatshirt with the words "Property of Minnesota Vikings" on it but then I realized...that Minnesota Twins hat turned sideways and that soul patch...Oh no it's Cole! Oh man and to make matters worse it was only ten forty-five! He locked his car and then he walked in! Linda looked happy to see him. "Cole! My goodness, how long has it been?" she asked as she gave that big jerk a hug. "Too long Linda, too long" that jerk started chuckling and then he turned his attention toward me and boy oh boy I'm guessing the old _Polly want a cracker?_ Bit or he was going to find some devilish way to torture me! He came over and then he pet my head, "Wow Linda, he really got big! I bet she's been feeding you good pal!" he started chuckling again and he gently scratched my head. This wasn't the same Cole I remembered...but then again, some people can change over the years, although Cole still didn't have my trust!

_(A/N)So has his mortal enemy actually changed? I don't know. Also that was the first chapter of my first ever Rio story and also the first first person story I've written in a while, so I hope you liked it so far...also to be clear I do not own the Minnesota Twins nor the Minnesota Vikings as they are sole property of the MLB and NFL respectively. On another note if you didn't get the whole "Social Network" joke, it was a joke on the actor that played Blu, Jesse Eisenberg he also portrayed Mark Zuckerberg the creator of Facebook...glad you read this so far and the next chapter will be up soon! Until next time._


	2. Coffee and Baseball Tickets

So Cole was being nice to me, it was weird to even see him smile, I'm not buying it. Just the sight of him makes me sick! I'd love nothing more then to rip that hat off his head and just throw it in a sewer but then again I'm not like that and I'm pretty sure Linda would be upset if I did.

"So how 'bout that cup of coffee?" asked Cole, though I wasn't worried because I'd be going along with them and I've prevented Cole from trying stupid stuff in the past and I can do it again, oh yeah I didn't mention that did I? Well when they were teens Cole used to try to lean in to kiss her but yours truly would stick his head between the two and guess where Linda's attention went? There was one time where Cole had gotten tickets to a Minnesota Twins game and he invited Linda and she was kind of "iffy" about leaving me with somebody so what I did was I feigned illness and she took a rain check! I know Cole was mad and I found out later that day he took his brother and he had a horrible time and I heard the Twins lost that game.

"Yeah sure, could you be a dear and run to the coffee shop? I take mine with cream and no sugar okay?" Alright! They weren't going anywhere together, I was so happy to hear Linda say that although Cole looked pretty ticked. I can't say I care though, so he went to go grab coffee for him and Linda and she went to prepare me another hot cocoa...boy I love the way she prepares it and those six little marshmallows are just to die for!

"Here sweetie" she said as she handed me the cocoa, I took a sip and it tasted better than ever, I guess it tasted that was now because her and that jerk weren't alone together. After waiting for a few minutes Cole had came back with two cups of coffee, I'm not a real big coffee drinker...it kinda keeps me up at night, I remember one time I tried it and I couldn't sleep that whole night man it was killer. Oh sorry let me get back to the story, I'm sure you don't want to be bored with the telling of my first cup of coffee no! I swear I think Cole had some motive for Linda, I was really hoping that they weren't going to get together or any garbage like that because I cannot have Cole in my life, everyday would be a living nightmare.

"So anyways the reason I came was you still owe me" he had some smug look on his face, "What do I owe you?" asking Linda chuckling at that joker! "Well, you see... you still owe me for that Twins game I was going to take you to when we were in high school" Really? You drive two hours from Minneapolis just to ask Linda to a baseball game, how pathetic!

"Well...I'd like to go to Target Field I've always wanted to see it but who would watch Blu?" Yeah that's right who would genius? Just then I heard Cole's phone ring and it was a text message, I perched up on his shoulder to get a better look...I see he's wanted at work! Linda headed to the back momentarily and this I should've seen coming, as soon as she turned her back he jerked his shoulder to shoo me off and I fell but luckily I landed on a nearby pillow!

"If you ever perch on my shoulder again...I'm turning you into fried chicken!" I knew it! I knew Cole didn't change one bit! He's still the same jerk I remembered him as, and one cue Linda had came back with a few books that I guess she had received as a shipment or something. "So Linda, got called into work, so I gotta go back to Minneapolis, here's the ticket if you change your mind" he said as he tossed the ticket on the counter and he left...thank goodness! We both looked at it and it read _Detroit Tigers vs Minnesota Twins...7:10pm _Then I heard Linda's cellphone ring and she picked it up. "Cole, hey what's up?...What? OK I'll check who's pitching" She went on the website to check t out and to her mouth opened wide as she had a big smile on her face, she had put Cole on speaker so both her hands would be free.

" Let's see it's Francisco Liriano against Rick Porcello...Cole Murphy, you sly dog"

_What...what're you talking about?_

"Cut the baloney Cole you know what I mean"

_No...I don't_

"Yes you do, you got us tickets to Bring Your Pet to the Ballpark day"

_No I didn't! _

"Come on you don't have to play dumb anymore, you wanted me to look up who was pitching so I could see the surprise you planned...you almost had me!"

_Fine...you found me out, kudos!_ _Well I guess I know your answer so I'll pick you up tomorrow for the game?_

"Sure Cole, Blu's happy as well! So I'll see you then. Bye!"

What? No I'm not! I don't want to go to a baseball game with that jerk, well I wanna go to the game but not with Cole! Great...what's a macaw to do?

_(A/N) So what's Blu to do? Oh boy! I knew Cole wouldn't change! Also I do not own the Minnesota Twins nor Target Field nor the Detroit Tigers nor Francisco Liriano nor Rick Porcello as they're all owned by the MLB! Next chapter soon! Until next time._


	3. Got Cole on a Leash at the Game

So I guess we'll jump ahead to tomorrow shall we? I mean it's the day of the game, and I'm kind of excited for my first ever Twins game...well not counting the countless number of games I've seen on TV but to go to a real game? This is exciting, the only buzz kill is that jerk Cole got the tickets and we have to go with him. Anyways it was after three and Cole was on his way to pick us up...just great, I was just waiting in my cage for that jerk to arrive and Linda seemed pretty happy. "Your first Twins game Blu, aren't you excited?" Yeah sure, If Cole suddenly bails on us we still have a ticket but I don't see that happening. Anyways, it was around 3:30pm and Linda was closing the store, we normally close at four on a Sunday but well...you know we're going to the game! I looked out the window and pulling right up to the curb was that infamous '07 Dodge Charger, Cole honked the horn and Linda put me in my travel cage and she carried me out. She locked the door and Cole got out of the car and opened the back door and Linda put me in. It smells like cheap leather seats and cheap cologne in here, the scent is overbearing! "Let's get a moving!" said that jerk wearing his stupid customized Twins jersey as Linda stepped in, shut her door and we were off to Target Field...I know it's a two hour drive but I have a feeling it's gonna be a LONG two hours. "Cole you know that was so sweet of you to get the tickets for Bring your Pet to the Ballpark!" I have a feeling those were the tickets he was trying to avoid but then again I'm sure fate is a...you know, gotta keep it K rated here and yes I know I broke the fourth wall...then again I'm talking to you so I know I'm...oh forget it I'm getting off track! "Yeah, I saw them and thought of you" Okay seriously pal? Quit sucking up to Linda, flattery gets you nowhere fast, "So Linda, how's business at the Blue Macaw?" as if he was interested "Business is good, so Cole I've been meaning to ask, what do you do for a living?" Probably some off the books job where he'll get no tax return.

"I do construction, we've just been working on fixing up an old building, so what else have you been up to since High School?"

"Not much, other then the Macaw that's about it"

"That's pretty cool, you know the other day when it was raining you know what I was thinking of?"

"What?"

"That time I took you out to the movies and it began to rain and I began to sing Singing in the Rain"

"I remember that, you're such a goof"

Yeah, unfortunately he was also a goof who I guess was too good to catch pneumonia or something like that. I gotta say watching those two talk actually made time go by quicker which was an upside! We had arrived at Target Field and it was so cool to be there, the stadium looks so much bigger in person and there were so many people donning team gear and they had brought their pets...mostly dogs, I don't think I saw too many birds. Anyways when we got out Linda let me out of my cage and I decided you know what, since she's here I'm gonna perch on Cole's shoulder...what's he gonna do about it? I knew he got annoyed but I didn't care, "Oh Cole isn't that nice? He likes you...you don't mind him up there do you?" I'm sure he won't! "Nah, it's cool" then he turned his head to me "I don't mind you digging your talons into an almost three hundred dollar authentic customized jersey" he said it through his teeth. I could care less though because I knew he wasn't going to do anything, as we were going into the stadium the ticket collector told us that since they brought me along we'd all be going to a special section for pet owners! Sweet! "Look Cole we're getting different seats" I guess he wasn't fazed at all but hey we're getting bumped up. So before we got to our seats Cole had bought some snacks and a big box of popcorn, we then entered the area were our seats were and we were sitting by the big the Target Field sign and it was pretty cool. "Oh darn I forgot napkins!" I bet Cole would forget his head if it weren't attached! "Don't worry Cole I'll get them" I decided to stay and have some of that delicious popcorn of Cole's, like I said before...what's he gonna do? I stuck my head in that box and began munching on that popcorn...man it was delicious! Then Cole saw me and pulled it away from me, "If you ever try that again I promise you I will stick you in a deep fat fryer!" Yeah, all mouth and no muscle! Just then Linda had come back with some napkins and she saw Cole holding the box of popcorn, "Cole you're so sweet sharing your popcorn with Blu"

"Right, that's what I was doing...go ahead buddy eat up, there's plenty"!

Heh, this is great! Nothing like popcorn and a baseball game. I saw Cole had bought Linda a hot dog and a soda and they were eating. After the singing of the National Anthem they announced the team lineup and the ballgame had started, man my first Twins game! The only things that would make it perfect were if Cole wasn't here and I wasn't surrounded by all these dogs.

_(A/N) Looks like Blu's got Cole on a leash, I mean he's getting away with perching on Cole's expensive jersey and eating all his popcorn...then again Cole kinda deserves it don't ya think? Next chapter will be up soon! Until next time._


	4. Get What's Coming To Ya!

So here we are at the top of seventh inning and the Twins are winning three to nothing, this game is pretty good so far. Only thing is Cole's here but he does seem happy the Twins are winning!

"Come on Liriano! Strike him out!"

Yell a little louder, maybe I'll go deaf! Linda looked like she was having a good time and to me that's all that really mattered. Well as much fun as it is perching on Cole's shoulder and tarnishing his jersey I think I'm going to Linda's shoulder, at least with her I get some respect! Once I got on Linda's shoulder I saw Cole inspecting the damage I did, apparently I left six small holes on the right shoulder but I really didn't care.

"STRIKE THREE! YER OUT!" yelled the umpire

"NICE STRIKE OUT FRANKIE!"

Cole was just yelling at the top of his lungs, for all I care his voice could go hoarse and maybe I won't have to hear him anymore...just saying. Now it was time for the seventh inning stretch and for those of you who aren't baseball fans what the seventh inning stretch is once the top of the seventh inning is over the fans generally get up and stretch or go to the bathroom or get a late snack, also I hear the vendors stop selling alcohol and everyone sings "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."

"I just have to run to the restroom, do you mind watching Blu for me?"

When Linda asked that I saw Cole look away and mutter an obscenity that I'm not really gonna say, but did he look aggravated.

"Sure Linda, I have to call my cousin anyways and thank him for the tickets"

This time I perched on Cole's left shoulder making sure I even it out, now trust me I'm not really a vengeful type bird but it's just Cole's caused me anguish so I figure I'll get back at him. So we all got up from our seats and Linda went to use the ladies' room while Cole and I had went to go to the snack bar because Cole wanted a bottle of water for his voice was a tad hoarse. He took out his phone and called his cousin;

"Yo...yeah I'm at the game, way to hook me up with the wrong game genius! Yeah you got me _bring your pet to the ballpark_ tickets! I told you I wanted T-Shirt day, instead I'm stuck here babysitting Linda's stupid, annoying bird! He already ruined both sleeves of my three-hundred dollar jersey and he's been a pain all day! I swear if...hold on, I'm buying some water...how much? OK, thanks. Anyways as I was saying if Linda wasn't here or if I didn't still have feelings for her, this bird would be fried chicken right about now! Oh before I go, do you remember Brian Delaney? Yeah, turns out he's a cameraman and when they do the kiss cam in about five minutes I slipped him a fifty earlier to have him point the kiss cam at me and Linda! Pretty sweet right? Oh! I want tickets to next week's Twins-White Sox game...you're the best! Bye!"

Now of course I'm offended by Cole's little tirade but sadly, he's not too observant because unknown to Cole, Linda hadn't gone to the bathroom because the line was way too long, but she had come back just in time to hear Cole's little speech. I had seen a look on Linda's face that I had never seen before, she was hurt and I mean hurt! I saw a tear run down her eye but she tried to hide it, I guess she didn't want me to see her like that, I flew off Cole's shoulder on to Linda's which caught his attention.

"Oh Linda, you're back from the bathroom already?"

"The line was pretty long, I can hold it"

"Alright, well they're about to sing _Take Me Out to the Ballgame_"

"Alright cool, let's go"

So we headed back to our seats and we heard the home crowd singing, and I gotta say it was pretty cool hearing it in person but anyways we sat down and I heard Cole sing but Linda turned her head and she looked so upset.

"I don't get it? Doesn't he like Blu?"

I heard her whisper to herself, you know if I wasn't such a nice guy and this story wasn't K plus rated I'd probably claw Cole's eyes out for hurting her...sorry if I sounded a little graphic there but come on! So anyways after the crowd sang, all of a sudden some music started playing and I heard an announcer;

"Alright Twins fans be on the lookout for our kiss cam!"

It shown one couple, when they noticed the guy gave his woman a quick peck on the cheek

"Come on you can do better!" said the announcer

Then it showed another couple who shared a pretty passionate kiss.

"That's more like it!" said the announcer

Finally the kiss cam came to us and Cole pointed it out to Linda, he smiled then closed his eyes and puckered his lips expecting a kiss, I hope she doesn't! All of a sudden I saw her reach for Cole's water bottle and she poured it all over him on camera...in front of about thirty-thousand plus fans!

"Harsh man, what'd you do?" joked the announcer

Cole was shocked and Linda got up from her seat with me on her shoulder and she looked mad;

"Come on Blu, we're leaving!"

Cole though was in pursuit, he followed us into the hall where the snack bars were;

"Hey! Linda! What the heck?"  
"Babysitting Linda's stupid, annoying bird? Do you have any idea what he means to me? What did he ever do to you? I thought you liked him! Let me guess it was all a ruse right? I never want to see you again Cole!"

She stormed out of the stadium and boy was I happy for her!

"Fine! Leave then! You and that dumb parrot!"

"He's a macaw!" she yelled back

Linda had left the stadium and hailed a cab, we were heading back to good old Moose Lake! So thus ends my tale of my first baseball game, from what I hear Cole had gotten pretty humiliated at that game, so much so that I hear that he had moved to New York because he became a laughing stock in Minneapolis, I also hear he's renounced the Twins as his favorite team and he's now a New York Mets fan, but he's still a laughing stock because that video hit the news and the Internet! Well, I'm going to head to bed now...I guess you should do the same depending on what time zone you're in. So good night or good morning I guess. Bye!

_(A/N) Haha Cole got humiliated! Oh what a gas! Well that was my first Rio fic and I hope you liked it, also you know I don't own the Minnesota Twins nor Francisco Liriano nor the White Sox nor Target Field nor the New York Mets as they are all sole property of the MLB (Major League Baseball...for those who don't know) I'll be writing another Rio fic in the future, so I hope you'll check that but you don't have to. Until next time!_


End file.
